We Learn As We Go
by the 85th writer
Summary: My two bits for the Con Man In The Meth Lab 4x09 .


**A/N:** This was mostly inspired by the **most amazing dialogue** in Con Man In The Meth Lab - Cam's _Don't you lie to me big man, I'm your friend_. Wow, Cam. And the revelation that she's known the Booths for so _long_... It puts a lot of Booth/Brennan interaction into perspective. Booth supporting _Brennan_ over Cam in beginning of season 2, Booth telling Cam to 'let it slip by'; Cam hearing the 'hot' remark in the Roxie/Tony ep. And her calling the intervention on behalf of Booth, knowing how he feels about Brennan, I mean DAMN. I have new respect for Cam.  
The title of the story comes from a song by Rob Dougan called Nothing at All; whose lyrics go -

We'll learn as we go  
To float far away  
Into silence  
And i'll watch your face  
And read of patience and grace  
In each line there  
And I stay and say nothing at all, at all

I think it captures Cam's frustration (IMO) very effectively; and I feel they really, really mishandled the music in that scene. They need to decide if they're a serious show, or a funny one; because after a point, you're just detracting from the actors' performances. I was very disappointed in the characterisation of Brennan though. The writers need to decide if she's growing as a person, or actually regressing. If I were Booth, I wouldn't have ever spoken to her again.  
Also, this is probably the longest thing I've written for Bones. Anyway.

- -

"I've known the Booth boys for fifteen years."

As soon as Cam says it, she realizes with a jolt, that yes, it's actually been _that long_. Fifteen years with Jarhead and Seeley, perhaps maybe more.

Sweets continues talking to Brennan and as the words merge into the background, her mind drifts away to where she can see the three of them as they used to be; three pushy kids in Pittsburgh. She can see back into high school where practically nobody but she and Jared knew Booth's first name. That phase that they'd all had when they grew their hair and listened only to arena rock and punk. Her first kiss with Booth in the gym after he'd finally seen the light and broken up with Vanessa whatsername. The night when he'd shown up outside her door and asked, no _pleaded _with her to let Jared stay over with her brother for just this one night. She'd seen his split lip the next morning. She doesn't like to think about what she didn't see.

They'd broken up over it and he hadn't spoken to her for six months. Six whole months. Six whole months of seeing him come in looking like he'd been to hell and back. Six months of seeing Jared looking exactly the opposite. Six months of seeing how very different the two brothers really were; and somehow even after all this time, the memories still hurt. They hurt and they sting because she knows that she failed him then, just like she's failing him now. The thought shocks her, because she _knows_ Booth. She knows that he'll never listen to her, because when it comes to Jared, he never has. So she does the only thing she knows, she goes to the one person she thinks he will listen to. The only person she can think of who can _help. _

But as she hears Brennan speak, she feels no comfort in her decision, only a familiar fury that bubbles to the surface; because this woman, _this_ _woman_ is the only person that can make things right for Booth, if she only _chooses_ to. But from what Brennan says, it's clear she's already made her choice.

"I like him very much."

"Yeah, well cut it out."

Those five words reveal only a fragment of the helpless anger Cam feels, but she reigns in her temper because it's necessary she play her cards right. She'll be damned if she's going to let Booth take the hit for Jared again; and to stop that from happening she needs to _show_ Brennan. She needs to show Brennan that Jared isn't who she thinks he is, and that _Booth_ isn't who Jared's made him out to be. And it should be simpler than this, she thinks. Shouldn't it be simpler than this to show her that he deserves the benefit of the doubt, of _her_ doubt _and so much more?_ Because this is _Seeley Booth _that she's talking about, and Cam knows how much he trusts the woman that sits before her; and how much _faith_ he has in her. So it shouldn't be this _hard_, but it _is_ and when all Brennan does is parrot the word 'evidence' again, the thin thread of control she's trying so hard to maintain snaps.

"Okay. Here's some evidence, the bullets that killed Pongetti and Stegman were both fired from the same gun."

She says it in a moment of weakness, and even though it's just one sentence, it undoes all she's been doing for the past fifteen minutes. The thread of understanding that she'd been trying to build is gone, and now Brennan's standing up. Sweets however, remains seated. So does she. Brennan gets up to leave, saying that she'll let Booth know about the findings, which sits just fine with Cam. She doesn't think she can look Booth in the eye anyway. So even though she knows she should tell Brennan to come back, she doesn't.

She just sits and watches the woman in front of her walk down the stairs towards Booth; towards the friend she couldn't help, again.

_-fin-_


End file.
